Dejando aparte mis pataletas sobre la administración local, he de deciros que a veces piensas que conoces, por fin, las motivaciones que mueven a una persona. Crees que comprendes la raíz (la extraña, la absurda, la sin embargo recurrente raíz) de sus problemas, y entonces, de repente, dice algo que te sacude. Sus palabras se clavan en tu mente como agudísimas agujas.
Conocí Careless thought a través de un "action shoot" que envió su autora al autor del entrañable cómic Count Your Sheep. Pero si he seguido leyendo Careless Thought a lo largo de varios meses no ha sido, evidentemente, por todo lo que cuenta sobre seguridad, linux, y todo eso. Ha sido porque tiene el coraje de abrir su corazón y dejar al descubierto sus pensamientos, incluso los más oscuros. Yo no soy capaz de tal cosa. No me gusta mentir, es cierto: pero incluso en mis momentos de mayor furia, siempre me guardo algo.
Do you sometimes think you have some clues about the strange motivations of somebody? Oh, how funny. Surprise: you're wrong.
Etanisla: your words shocked me; they got stuck in my mind as sharp pins would do under my nails. You are so sincere! How can you open your hearth every day and tell us even the darker thoughts inside you? Blogging is also a therapy for me, but I can't express all I have inside me. It would hurt me.
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Because, if I keep it in any longer, the darkness will consume me and I will fall to it. By letting out the truth, I can hold on a little longer. I've kept so much hidden within me, for so long, that I'm a mere shell of a person. A farce of a human. No one in my life wants to believe how much I hurt, because I never acted or looked like someone in that much pain.
So, since no one believes me, what would it hurt to finally tell the truth?
Besides... what I post isn't half of my pain and torment. It is only what I'm able to admit publicly...
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